ATTN Single Ladies: Ross and Rachel Got It Wrong
We were glued to our televisions. He was a paleontologist, she was a spoiled waitress but they were in love. For ten seasons we were invested in their dating life. Single ladies everywhere swooned when he kissed her for the first time at Central Perk. They were together. They were on a break. They had a baby. She didn’t take her dream job in Paris to stay with him in New York. They were Ross Geller and Rachel Green and we were hooked. In la-la-land an on again/off again relationship can work. In the real world, it’s not such a good idea. After the jump we explore exactly why that is.
Dating is complicated. You search the personals on your favorite online dating site looking for men. You find one that catches your eye and the two of you embark on a Ross and Rachel courtship that lasts ten years. It sounds so romantic, doesn’t it? According to a new study done by Kansas State University, couples in cyclical relationships have weaker bonds than those who have stayed together.
Couples engaged in on again/off again relationships were shown to be more impulsive when they were together and rushed things like moving in together and having kids. The study goes on to further state that cyclical couples were less satisfied with each other and lacked the same tight-knit closeness that sturdy non-cyclical couples had.
Ross and Rachel may have looked like they were engaging in a glamorous relationship on TV but in real life, this isn’t so. Breaking up and getting back together with the same person over and over again can wreak havoc on your self-esteem (especially if you’re a Capricorn). You fear being single so you reconnect with the guy you feel comfortable with. Looking for men can be taxing and yes, some couples who break up and make up do live happily ever after. However, it is less likely that they’ll have the same open communication that couples who aren’t on again/off again have.
If you’re looking to get back together with an ex think about it carefully before you jump back into the relationship. Single ladies everywhere don’t want to be single but is it worth pretending to be Ross and Rachel? Before you call your on again/off again boyfriend make sure you’re ready for the inevitable: another break up.