How to successfully date a “player”
Don’t hate the player, hate the game, right? Usually when you date a player, you end up hating both. Once in a while though, you may find yourself falling in love with the player and thus hating the game even more. Is there any hope of changing a player or dating him and winning the game? Read on and find out if there is any way to successfully date a player.
Casual dating is easy, even with a player. When you fall in love and want something serious, there is always a chance you’ll be hurt. Whether you meet on an only dating site, at a club, or meet on a friends dating suggestion. However you find the person you love, falling for someone is always a risk. When that someone is a player, those chances sky rocker. Can a player ever change his ways? Anything is possible. Lets take a look at some of the different types of players.
The types of players in dating.
- The hunter. This guy only wants what he can’t have. If you’re telling him you’re not interested, he is going to go crazy trying to make you fall in love with him. He may even convince himself that he’s in love with you, after all, you’re all he thinks about (this week anyway). You’ll feel like the most desired woman on the planet, until you give in to his advances. Suddenly he’ll be gone faster than the first pot of coffee at the office on Monday morning and you’ll feel like a fool.
- The manipulator. This guy will be smooth and funny at one moment, then insulting and confusing the next. Ever had a guy who runs so hot and cold that you feel like you’re dating two guys for the price of one? Yeah, he’s a manipulative player. Watch out for these types, they’ll date you, cheat on you, use you and have you feeling like it’s all your fault. Usually good friends are the ones who finally slap us back into reality and make us promise to never see the guy again.
- The man’s man. He’s hot, he’s successful and he just wants to have fun with his friends. Sure he’ll meet you on the dance floor and take you back to his place if he gets the nod of approval from his buddies, but chances are he’ll be out the door first thing in the morning. Why? He has breakfast plans with his bro’s! Duh!
- The serial dater. Such a shame, this guy is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and he doesn’t even know it. He has this idea about the perfect woman and every woman he likes is a potential for “the one”. He’ll date you, it may even seem like a real relationship, but at the first sign of trouble, he’s out the door. Usually he’s had many many short term relationships but rarely more than one long term relationship.
What kind of player is most likely to retire from the game?
There are two types of players that may change their ways, given the type of effort and chemistry put forward by the right woman. The serial dater and the man’s man. Why these two? They are both usually immature thinkers that just need a bit of motivation and information to get back on track.
Playing the game to win the player.
Recognize your opponent. When you first start dating someone who you think may be a player, ask around. Check him out when he thinks you’re not looking, is he always looking for validation from his buddies? Then he’s probably a man’s man. Does he put your relationship on a pedestal and have people told you he dates…a LOT? Then he’s most likely a serial dater.
For a man’s man…
The best way to change a man’s man into your man is to make sure he thinks you’re just as much fun as his friends (only he gets to have sex with you!) First off, become friends with his friends, pronto. From the moment you decide that you want to date this guy, start buying rounds for his friends at the bar, bring over beer if you’re invited to a party, or hook them up with your friends (if you have friends who are just looking for casual dating). If his friends like you and he likes you, then you’re winning already.
Another thing you need to do is push yourself a little into his life. Now that’s not the same thing as being clingy. Don’t start texting him all the time or making him call you. Think more along the lines of if he’s going out for breakfast with his buddies after you’ve just had a fantastic night of sex, invite yourself along. As a guy’s guy, he’s most likely used to a man’s company. Men tend to be straightforward, so if you want to go with him to breakfast, tell him. You can slowly get him to spend more time with you, as long as you give him ample time with his friends as well. After a while, you’ll be as important to him as his friends. If you play the game right, you can become his most valuable player.
For the serial dater…
A serial daters main problem is that he’s a perfectionist. He’s looking for a woman who doesn’t exist and even if she did exist, she wouldn’t want him. This type of player really has to be worth your while, because breaking a man of the habit of running at the first sign of trouble is quite hard. If you decide that your player is worth the trouble, then what you have to do is show him why imperfections are beautiful and why working things out instead of running is better. Another thing that helps is letting him know that you’re a hot commodity and that you are more likely to leave than he is.
The best way to keep a guy who runs at the first sign of trouble is to be yourself right away and don’t try to please him. Usually in the beginning of relationships we are on our best behavior, then as we relax, we show out less appealing sides. With this kind of guy, you need to show him all sides right away. Fart in front of him, wear minimal makeup on your second date (maybe do an outdoor activity so that it makes sense to not wear makeup). Call him on his crap from the get go and this guy won’t know what hit him. Force him to GROW from day one in your relationship and he will fall in love and stay there. What a lot of serial daters suffer from is chronically dating women who try to appear perfect. If you embrace your imperfections and lovingly call him on his, you’ll find him by your side for far longer than a few months.
There is always hope when there is love.
Some people say that dating a player is just asking to lose and often they’re right but not always. I believe that people can change, when given the right inspiration. You can’t make someone love you, but you can be your best self and play the game so well that the player that you love, retires with you for good.
Good luck out there in the dating world!